Let’s Cut Down on Ghost Stories

I want us to reframe a critical challenge in the PR profession that impacts our well-being: ghosting.

In this evolving remote and hybrid “out of sight, out of mind,” world, it’s never been easier to suddenly disappear from professional relationships.

From media contacts who suddenly go dark, to prospective clients whose priorities are shifting, to prospective employers who suddenly are hiring from within, to employees who quit without warning, we’ve all been ghosted at least once in our career.

According to research by The Thriving Space on Psychology, “More than 2 in 5 have been ghosted by a prospective employer… and 1 in 4 admitted to ghosting a workplace by quitting without notice or explanation.”

Because this is a relationship business, it can feel jarring when suddenly an ongoing communication with someone ends without proper closure. I’m blessed that the vast majority of people I’ve connected with throughout my career never ghost, but like all of us, it happens.

For those of us who are entrepreneurs and running your own business, it can feel particularly challenging with no one else to commiserate with about the specific situation.

It’s taken me a while to not take ghosting personally, but last year, I had a big mental shift in how I think about this issue.

Understand the other person’s point of view.

Sometimes, people who have fallen silent suddenly reappear, apologizing for being busy with work, dealing with personal matters or frankly feeling overwhelmed with responding to people (including me).

Ultimately, they have had to reprioritize their life, and knowing that has helped me understand why I haven’t heard from them.

All this said, attempting to achieve this level of empathy has its own risks. If not properly checked, then moving down someone’s priority list — personal or professional — can impact one’s well-being.

The mindset shift I’ve had recently is — because I can’t control the decisions of others — I am choosing to no longer spend my energy on those who are suddenly unresponsive.

I’m also choosing not to take this personally. I’m choosing to give grace. 

Life is too short to focus on those moving you down their priority list.

Focus on your priority list.

If you think you are a frequent ghoster, then please do me a favor today: Reach out to someone and thank them for their patience. They will appreciate your note! It’s never too late to revise and rebuild a relationship gone dormant.

If you find yourself as a ghostee, then don’t be afraid to check in again in a month or two before moving on with grace and empathy. And you never know; you might be surprised when you hear from them again.

This is also a great time to recognize those who are responsive. In our profession, it’s a challenge to make time to manage and grow all our relationships. Send a quick note to a few people today and thank them for making time for you.

Let’s start encourage each other to be more open, honest and transparent. Time is one resource we will never get back.